Friday, November 30, 2007

The Mongoloids are in the Building


They got here way too late and woke up far too fucking early. At least Nick's with them.

"Offer still stands..."

Today, Jason T. flew into Boston from California. He's going to be coming with us this tour and it's going to be rad. He turned 18 the last time he came out with us. We were in Denver on his birthday. In typical fashion, we went to a porn shop to celebrate. While Jason purchased tokens for use in the jerk-off booth, the male store clerk offered to give him a birthday blowjob. He politely declined. After he finished his business, Jason walked back up to the store front from the cum covered underworld of glory holes and video booths. He asked where the restroom was and the clerk informed him that in order to use it he must exchange his ID for the key. While Jason was in the restroom, we were making our way to the vehicle. In a rush to meet us at the van, Jason grabbed his id and ran out to the van, not noticing a small piece of paper wrapped around the plastic card. When he got to the van, he unfolded the piece of paper. On it was a hand scrawled message from the clerk. It read, "Offer still stands..." followed by his name and phone number.

Thursday, November 29, 2007


Yesterday, our friend Jayme caught a bus to Boston to visit us and spend the day tooling about the city. She works at Old Port candy shop in Portland, Maine and brought with her two large bags packed to the brim with assorted candy. There were many bags within the large bags, each dedicated to a different branch of the candy family. There was even a gummi snake! Sour gummies, non-sour gummies, chocolate covered blueberries, swedish fish and jelly beans were plentiful. They still are. She may as well have been Wilma Wonka with the abundance of candy that she brought to us. Thanks to her, we'll have stomach aches for a week.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Secret Santa

This is me in a festive holiday hat. You can see more idiots wearing this hat in Sam's blog at:

"I don't care if I live or die."

"Go ahead and kill me." Those were the last words of serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer.

2 years into serving 15 consecutive life sentences for murder, Dahmer was beaten to death by fellow inmate Christopher Scarver. His head was smashed in with a broom handle and then crushed against the wall and floor. Correctional officers reported that there was blood everywhere. Today is the 14th anniversary of his death. Happy Deathday!

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

A Chili Night in Boston

Yesterday, after spending the entire day indoors, surfing the web, watching movies and failing at Halo, I was joyed to hear that Danielle would be cooking dinner. I had heard tales of her prowess in the kitchen and was excited to try her wares for myself. While she chopped, chunked, sliced and diced in the kitchen, I was on the couch getting annihilated by alien scum to the sounds of the Dead Kennedys. Midway through Danielle's cooking endeavors, Garrett and Nicole returned to the apartment with "The Devil and Daniel Johnston" on dvd. We popped it in and began our journey into the mind of an intensely driven mad man. Roughly half an hour into the documentary, dinner was brought to the coffee table. It was beautifully prepared and absolutely delicious. I took this snap shot with my phone before I dug in with my spoon.


Monday, November 26, 2007

Hypocritic Oath

Shortly after the first Halo came out nearly all of my friends were completely consumed by it. Not really a fan of first person shooter games, I decided to give it a try to see what all the hubbub was. I remember being very confused and disoriented by how quickly I was being killed and how poorly I was able to move my character. I swore that I would never play Halo again. This was 2001. Six years later, in an effort to entertain myself in an empty house, I decide to play some video games. I set the system up and popped in NCAA Football 2005 to beat the shit out of UCLA with my Trojans, but for some reason the xbox didn't want to read the disc. I searched high and low for another game that wasn't Halo or Halo 2. After a tremendously fruitless search, I opted to try my hand at the first installment of the trilogy. Though my performance was quite a bit better than my first try, I remembered why I don't play first person shooter games. All of the confusion came rushing back and I had to turn the game off, but the damage was done.

Hi I'm Spencer and I'm a hypocrite.

I hate swimming...

but this cat loves it.

Dead, dead, dead.

Everyone dies. Quiet Riot front man Kevin Dubrow was found dead on Sunday in his Las Vegas home. Expect to hear and feel the noize tonight on your local evening news.

Happy Birthday Charlie

85 years ago today, Charles M. Schulz was born. He's dead now, but he made part of the world laugh with his famous comic "Peanuts." I'm more of a Family Circus guy when it comes to cutesy comic strips, but I guess you have to respect The Great Pumpkin.

Sunday, November 25, 2007


Boy George hastily exits the Thames Magistrates Court in London on Friday.

The 46-year-old DJ and front man of ’80s pop group Culture Club, whose real name is George O’Dowd, appeared in court in London on February 25, the Thames Magistrate’s Court ruled. He was released on conditional bail.

Boy George is accused of chaining the 28-year-old male escort to a wall in his London home on April 28 this year. George spoke during the minute-long hearing only to confirm his name and date of birth.

The singer completed a week of community service in New York last year after admitting that he falsely reported a burglary at his lower Manhattan apartment. Responding police found a stash of cocaine.

Who let the dogs out?

Yesterday we went to both of Boston's Spike's hot dog establishments. As per usual, I couldn't afford to eat. Being in this predicament on more than one occasion, I've become quite adept at taking in the scenery in strange new eateries. Who needs to be distracted by food when you can be distracted by all of the cool shit a strange new eatery has to offer? Knick-knacks ranging from hubcaps to novelty signs hang from the walls and if you eat enough hot dogs your picture can be among them. If you can complete Spike's challenge (eat and keep down 6 or more hot dogs in an hour or less)you receive a Spike's t-shirt and your snapshot on the wall. The best of the best even get their picture's put up in the "Kennel Club."

I don't really like talking about shows, so I'll keep the show review short... It was cool.

After the show, we went to party at Jeff and Brian's place. There's nothing like shotgunning PBR and Coors Light back to back.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

The King is Dead

Elvis Aaron Presley was born on January 8, 1935 in a 2 bedroom house in Tupelo, Mississippi. He died on August 16, 1977 in his Graceland home in Memphis, Tennessee. His head lives in Boston, Massachusetts at Daddy's Junky Music Store.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Tonight in Boston

After you stuff your face with leftovers come stuff the Cambridge Elks Lodge.

this cold.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Ich Bin Ein Berliner

Forty-four years ago today, John Fitzgerald Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas, TX during a political tour. Today we eat Turkey on his grave.

Suck Jackie, suck.

Guard on Duty

I found my red shorts and it couldn't have happened a second too soon. Notice how slimming they are? I predict that these things will be huge come summer.

Electrified by the Sound

They go hand in hand like school children crossing the street. Rap and rock. It's the best of both worlds. What's not to like? It's brought you greats like Cypress Hill, E. Town Concrete and Rage Against the Machine, while at the same time polluting the airwaves with garbage like Crazytown and Limp Bizkit. They compliment each other like Hall & Oates and lasted longer together than Kobe and Shaq. Rap rock is dead, but lives in my head... and on youtube.

For some strange reason I had a dream last night that featured both of these songs. I woke up trying to decide which I like better. I couldn't decide so here they both are.


Homeless Again

We're officially back on the road again and with that comes the return of the beard. Stoked for the warmth. Not so stoked for the shit I'm going to get for looking homeless. The recycled green windbreaker that I will be adorning my body with for the next two weeks probably won't help my case.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Manny, Moe and Adolf?

When did they get a new Pep Boy?

Gobble? Gobble!

How can something so colorful and unique be sacrificed each year so that American families can celebrate tradition? Oh yeah, it's delicious.

Better late than never. Right?

Yesterday started at around noon in the basement, but soon moved onto a print shop to finish up some last minute t-shirts for last night's gig. 2 cigarettes, some awkward conversation and a few hours later they were done. My fingers were still green from dyeing the shirts two nights before but they were warm... even if only from the heat-set shirts I was folding and throwing into a broken cardboard box.

We played the gig, smoked some weed and drank every drop of liqour our drink tickets entitled us to. Then we left. Two words sum up the first part of the rest of our night. Waffle House.

At around 2 a.m. we hit the slippery road back to Philadelphia in the twinkie. This is where it got us:

The alternator belt was shredded to shit and the battery wasn't holding charge for dick. That wasn't even the worst part. We were stuck in the cold waiting for the tow truck all night. However, there was a plus side; another Waffle House.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

I'm a religious drunk...

...and this is where I pray. It's been awhile since my last beer, but I've had a few stiff whiskey and cokes.

Does your music video have Jesus head walking and nuns stage-diving? I didn't think so. Until you do, I'll keep watching this one.